Am I banging my head against a brick wall?









 Dear Serena,

I am writing to you as I don’t know what to do about my relationship, with the man I love. We have been together for a few years and I think he loves me; it’s just that he blows hot & cold. 

Sometimes he’s lovely dovey but most of the time he’s cold and dismissive. When I try to talk to him about how I feel, he tells me that I’m too sensitive. 

It’s really getting me down, I feel like half the woman I was before we got together; what should I do?






Hey girl,


I feel you on this one! 


I too understand how it feels to have experienced being in a relationship with a man that displays contradictory behaviours and mannerisms. 

Let me ask you a question...


Are these the personal attributes that he has always displayed or has this type of behaviour recently developed?

If your man has not displayed these types of characteristics before, then clearly there has been a fresh development within your relationship that you both need to address.

However, if this is how he’s always been then good luck with getting him to change now! 

There’s good news & bad news for your current situation; the good news is that your awareness and courage to confront your discontentment for your relationship is not only a sign of strength & courage but also a clear indication that your spiritual vibration is elevating. 


The bad news is that whenever we begin to feel dissatisfied within our present day circumstances, it is a sign that our divine purpose with that situation is almost complete.

So I encourage you to keep your spirits up in this time of inevitable change along with ensuring that you take extra care of yourself through this challenging time.


If this is how he’s always conducted himself them then I do not have to tell you that being involved with such an individual is a total head 


Men who blow hot & cold tend to have intimacy problems, this is also a clear indicator of their emotional unavailability.

What your man is doing is giving you enough sugar to keep you sweet but then blows cold when he tiers of upholding his facade. The truth is he doesn’t really want you getting too close to him emotionally as underneath his masquerade, he’s fearful of getting hurt. 


He may still be nursing a broken heart from a previous relationship or may be pre-conditioned to act this way through a difficult childhood.

Nevertheless, if this relationship is draining the life out of you then you need to consider the realisation that your relationship has turned/has always been TOXIC!

Fundamentally, if a relationship is toxic then it is poisonous! Poison drains the life force out of the spirit right before it kills it!



Im not one for persuading a woman to leave her man but *coughs* run for the hills gwrol….save yo self from destruction & ruin. 

As no matter what you think or do; until your man recognises for himself that there is a disfunction in which he relates to you as your man then you are pretty much out of luck.

Be that as it may, this is an opportunity for you to put yourself first; so step up and grab this moment with both hands.

By taking the time to invest in yourself by loving on you, you display to your spirit, the universe and even yo man that you deserve the best because you are of value!


Make his cold aloof ass redundant by giving yourself the love & attention that you seek from him. This allows you to attract/receive a relationship that is balanced, loving & supportive. 


Your worth it girlfriend!!! (L’Oreal hair flick & grin).



 © Serena Weithers, 2015

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