Why Won't She Let Me See My Daughter?



Dear Serena,


I am a young black man who is independent, reliable & single. 

I have a little girl who I love with all my heart who I’m struggling to see  because of my ex-girlfriend.

I never cheated on her! We drifted apart due to differences in opinion. I don’t understand why she is making it so hard for me to spend time with my daughter when there are loads of men out there who run from this responsibility...

Any advice?





First things first...I would like to take the time to commend you for honouring your duties as a father by standing by your daughter. 

It saddens me to hear that you are fighting to see your child as what your ex-girlfriend fails to remember is that she not only hurts you but also your daughter with this behaviour.

However, there is always two sides to a story but I will endeavour to advise you on the basis that your ex-girlfriend is being unreasonable in your attempts to cordially co-parent.


Stay strong young king! Easier said then done I know but strong you must remain if you are to overcome this challenge and continue to be a loving father for your daughter. 


This is a time where your spiritual practice will need to take priority as the pain caused from this situation contains great potential to devastate. 



This is a time to lean upon family and friends for support, if you do not have this then consider a councillor.


I’m sure your already aware that you could take your ex-girlfriend to court to gain joint custody or preferably consult respected family members for intervention. Nevertheless, I thought that I would mention these possibilities.


If this fails to work I would suggest calming your mind by meditating/praying as this never fails to present a solution.


Whatever you do never become discouraged and quit on the pursuit to be with your daughter. Children grow into adults, your ex-girlfriend can only prohibit you for a specific number of years. 

If your attempts don’t stick and you cant find a way to see your daughter, then wouldn’t it be great to sincerely tell her of your endeavours when she comes looking for you.

If you know her residential address, send her letters, if you know where she goes to school meet her outside to walk her home.


Be creative in the ways you construct time to see your daughter, that keep her safe and free from her mothers wrath.


Never give up on your struggle, never give up on your daughter!

Where theres a will, theres a way!

Nothings impossible!





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