50 Shades Of Manipulation And Abuse






The best-selling erotic romance novel that blew the minds of millions has finally arrived in UK cinema’s across the country in time for Valentine’s day.

The long awaited, highly anticipated movie ’50 shades of Gray’ was released on February 13th 2015.

Like most individuals I was extremely excited to see Universal Pictures interpretation of the popular narrative.


I personally enjoyed the first installment of the prominent trilogy, although I found some parts of the plot immensely ‘knight in shining armour-ish’ for my distinct taste.

Nevertheless, I was seduced by the idea of becoming involved with an  extremely attractive alpha male to experience a supremely magnetic, sexually charged romantic relationship. 

(Remember ladies, energy goes, where attention flows!)


Fast Forward to 2015, where a considerably more enlightened moi, has her booty glued to the picture-house seat. 

Sitting in anticipation to visually devour EL James’ well liked, sought-after, sexy-time film, it all becomes painfully apparent that I will not be wiping the sweat from my brow anytime soon but instead have to endure a twisting of my gut from watching the subtle but treacherous relationship dynamic that was beginning to unfold.

Watching the connection between the characters Christian Grey & Anastasia ‘Ana’ Steele I couldn’t help but feel uneasy.





To a trained eye, Christian Grey is an emotional unavailable man who use’s his money along with sex as a weapon. 

He was introduced to this dysfunctional way of bonding by an older woman who happened to be a friend of his adopted mother. 

It becomes apparent that Christian is induced to this highly sexual practice at the tender age of 15 years.

Most adults will agree with the thesis that sexually soliciting a fifteen year adolescent boy, whilst your a grown ass married woman can be potentially labelled as abuse.


So there we have it, a glance into the childhood of an extremely successful but emotional void man. 

Emotional unavailable men are dangerous as there desire is not to create a balanced, harmonious, equal relationship but generate a partnership based on control, dominance and power.  


A demonstration of these motives would be when Christian appears inside the confinements (without invitation) of Ana’s house with the intention of using sex as a means of persuasion. 

This is not romance people but the unveiling of a crazy person! This is a red flag. 

The moment they both attain there sexual climax, we see Christian roll out of bed (Red Flag) to pull up his trousers; whist asking Ana to reconsider her decision of surrendering herself to him.


The film depicts a distressed Ana who is often left confused as Christian lures her interest with helicopter rides, fast cars, and passionate sex. However, he also keeps her at arms length by

expressing his disinterest to go on dates or sleep beside her in the same bed.

Ana is caught up on an emotional roller-coster. 

Nevertheless she has a decision to make; succumb to Grey’s demands and abandon her freedom of choice or honour herself and completely lose what feels like the love of her life.


50 shades of grey is a romance novel imposter, it is a twisted tale of manipulation, control and abuse. 

Just like a narcissistic man, it presents itself as a magnetic, charming  and emotionally healthy movie. As the film progresses it slowly becomes evident how sinister the story really is...fundamentally, what EL James has done is capitalise off woman's most prolific fantasy. Being swept off the feet by an exceptionally attractive and wealthy man but unlike our imaginings this man’s nature is distorted. 



His character is deceptively darker as now his inherent requirement is to fulfill some type of egotistical need rather than fulfill a woman’s deepest desires. 

This type of tale will no doubt become well received by those craving emotional or physical intimacy as a fragment of the dream is better than none at all. 

Honestly speaking, how many of us would be willing to over look our man’s emotionally nullifying directives if we received expensive gifts, recurring helicopter rides, a brand new car coupled with frequent sessions of extreme bonking! 

Be truthful now... ;0) 


My intention is not to slate the movie, in fact it is a wonderful tool in which women can broaden there perspectives, so that they may easily differentiate between romance and emotional abuse, especially when less overt.

Crying after a spanking or having your car sold without your permission or knowledge are signs that you are in a toxic relationship. Point, blank, period!


The message portrayed to women that this is an exciting, fulfilling and valuable relationship is 50 shades of messed up as the dynamics of the liaison is insidiously morbid. This is not the type of courtship that women should idealise or aspire too...a healthy, balanced, equal partnership is one free of confusion. You will not have to abandon yourself to keep your man or fear a spanking due to your failure to adhere to his regulations.

When you have truly materialised a balanced, harmonious relationship, the bliss experienced from your intimate moments will extend past the corners of your bedroom into your entire relationship. 


Just image how delicious this would feel?



 © Serena Weithers, 2015

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