Caution! Narcissist Approaching... 










Head f#*k! Are the two words that come to mind whilst describing a relationship with a narcissist. 


If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a narcissist then you will be familiar with the emotional roller-coaster and abuse that is guaranteed to emerge within this sort of partnership.


Narcissists are emotional vampires, they enter relationships with others with the sole purpose of receiving an energetic exchange. They are takers that will leave there victims depleted and barren.


Narcissists are plagued with an enormous void that they constantly seek to fill, they do this by cultivating the love & admiration of others.


Narcissists of both genders are know for dismissing the feelings of others as well as always having someone nearby for an ego stroke, sexual session or other personal need that requires fulfilling.


Narcissists are emotionally dangerous people as they leave there victims in a state of turmoil. 

Low self-esteem and emotional ruin often ensue after the narcissist has broken down the boundaries and self worth of the victim.


Although unpredictable & erratic in their daily exploits, narcissists inevitably follow a 3 phase pattern whist participating in a romantic relationship.





Idealisation Stage


A Narcissist will typically choose a mate based on status, this means he will be attracted to popular, wealthy and physically attractive women.

However, it has been know for some narcissistic men to choose less attractive women with low self esteem as an easier way of gaining narcissistic supply, therefore all women must be on guard from accepting an invitation from this kind of gentleman.


Once the target has been selected, the narcissist goes into an intense pursuit. They will project the perfect image, they will be excessively loving, caring and attentive; showering their target with gifts, attention and compliments, literally sweeping their target off their feet.


The victim will now be so caught up in the romantic windfall that they are already picking out wedding colours and proclaiming there undying love to their friends and family -  “This is it!...He’s the one!”


Unfortunately, what they don’t know, understand or ever be prepared for is what comes next...





Devaluation Stage


This is the stage where the vicim begins rubbing their sore head from being abruptly thrust off the pedestal created by the narcissist. This is the stage where true colours commence to shine.

The narcissist will slowly begin to remove his mask; blowing hot and cold, being Jekyll & Hyde along with creating immense highs & lows within the relationship.

The ample attention, gifts and compliments that came in droves dries up and the victim is left wondering what they did wrong and how to make it better. 

Most victims start to cling as a way of trying to salvage what has been lost, this is when the emotional abuse starts. 

Narcissists are abnormally cruel, there lack of empathy for the pain they inflict on others is breathtaking. They never take responsibility for the suffering they cause as they do not care how much they hurt their victims, in fact they get supply from watching their victims in agony. 


Positive/Negative Energy is supply = supply temporarily fills the narcissist void


The partnerships toxicity increases as the victim becomes caught in a proverbial dance with the narcissist lover. This dance is characterised by the back and forth motion of each person at conflicting times.

As the victim moves back the narcissist moves forward, however once the victim moves forward the narcissist moves back. This behaviour can endue for months, possibly years with the victim constantly being ill-treated. 


Narcissists are known for feeding their victims just enough crumbs of attention to keep them emotionally invested and consistently available to them.


so how does this toxic affiliation end?


Bad! thats how....if the victim musters up enough energy to leave, the narcissist may make it difficult. They are maters of manipulation with a false grandiose entitlement complex. The ego of a narcissist may encourage them to regurgitate a watered down version of stage one in order to keep their victims by there side.

Alternatively, they will get bored and endeavour to find a new target, thus completely ignoring you. This can occur at anytime, victims are often left heartbroken with their bottom jaw on the floor in total utter shock in response to how badly the’ve been treated.





Discard Stage


When the narcissist leaves his victim high & dry she will often be riddled with questions - “Did he ever love me?” “Is he thinking of me?” “Did I ever mean anything to him?” I’m sorry to break it to you but the answer is a quick, harsh NO!

Once your purpose has been served the narcissist will abruptly discard their victim and move on, sometimes without warning.


Getting over a relationship with a narcissist is devastatingly difficult!


Victims are usually wrecks, shadows of their former self; the victim will experience an array of emotions including anger, grief and sadness. This is to be expected. As with most painful experiences time is a healer that will aid in the transformation from victim to surviver. 

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